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10. Great Halloween Grave Dig - Mahanoy City, Pennsylvania
9. Festival of the Dead - Salem, Massachusetts
8. Guavaween - Tampa, Florida
7. Playboy Mansion - Beverly Hills, California
6. Parade of Lost Souls - Vancouver, British Columbia
5. Vampire Ball - Houston, Texas
4. Freaks, Follies & Sideshows - New Orleans, Louisiana
3. West Hollywood Halloween Carnaval - Los Angeles, California
2. New York's Village Halloween Parade - Greenwich Village, New York
1. Fetish & Fantasy Halloween Ball - Las Vegas, Nevada
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10. You get winded from knocking on the door.
9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.
8. You ask for high fiber candy only.
7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over.
6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask.
5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest.
4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders.
3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece.
2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker.
1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.
Source: Late Show 1997
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10. Bit-O-Squirrel
9. Poisonettes
8. Good n' Sweaty
7. Middlefinger
6. Della Reese's Pieces
5. Clam Duds
4. Baby Ruth Bader Ginsburg
3. Gummy Marrow
2. Ken Starrburst
1. Osmond Joy
Source: Late Show 1998
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10. Jack-O-Lantern looks suspiciously like the neighborhood mailman's head
9. A guy from Domino's delivers a pizza -- and wins best costume
8. Shirtless Ed Asner walking around as "The Wolfman"
7. You see the guy dressed as President Clinton coming out of the bedroom with your wife.
6. They're serving haunted pancakes (video tape of Letterman with floating pancakes).
5. So-called ghost, just the old guy, from the 1-800-COLLECT commercials
4. You say "nice crazy dwarf costume" to a guy and he says "I'm Ross Perot, you bastard!"
3. Some chemical in all that green ink turns you into a crazy little chipmunk like Ross Perot.
2. A woman dressed as Lorena Bobbitt mistakes you for a guy dressed as John Bobbitt.
1. Hey Chester -- those ain't candy corns!
source: Late Show 1994
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